My Darling Amazing , Iŕreplaceable, Beautiful Heather, Today, 44 years ago you made me the happiest, luckiest man in the world by marrying me now I am not and this will never change, , I am so so grateful, all my previous thoughts say it all except they get more intense and worse by the day, I think about you every split second that passes, I said at Jess and Chris,s wedding you were my best friend, my lover ,my companion and my soulmate and the devastating, demoralising miserable life without you now has completely destroyed me and wrecked the perfect family you gave me. Today is another of those so very sad and emotional difficult days I have to try and get through but like your favourite Dusty Springfield song goes "I only want to be with you" how I wish I could be, I continue to cry daily and hope it can be soon. As promised I keep you by me in our lonely bedroom with a light on all day , a candle burns all night as I cry myself to sleep alone and pick a fresh rose from your garden to put with you, I love you my darling girl , the pain living without you is immeasurable, plesse wait for me, My everlasting love as always and forever. Alan. Xxxxx