My darling, darling ,irreplaceable Heather, Its 5am on the morning of my 70th birthday and I have lain awake most of this unwanted night re living our life together, the wonderful times we had and the amazing family you gave me and the day, today you would have given me, there are still no words and never will be to describe my loneliness without you . Autumn is upon us and Im dreading another long, wet,cold winter without you, the nights are drawing in and I hate it on my own, Lingles Farm remains empty of the warmth and happiness you gave it, no longer "The Mothership" Your rose has produced one last lovely bloom which sits on your chest of drawers in our bedroom along with the candle I light every night, l gaze at the empty pillow beside me and despair at the wishes, dreams ,prayers and hopes that never came true, God Heather I miss you so much ,I loathe anniversaries like today, I cant believe its the 4th one without you. To try to rebuild my life I now have a full time job ,abit out of my depth but I will give it my best shot, how I wish you were here to be proud of me, you gave me my courage, my wisdom ,my generosity ,my strength and my happiness, all gone. My side of our family have been really supportive and kind as has our ,lovely son and for that I am truly grateful, your best mate Jan has been special. Today I work and tonight some family and friends have insisted I dont spend it alone and I am grateful for their thoughts ,kindness and company, it will be a difficult day to get through so please walk with me. I cry as I write this to you my darling girl, how lucky was I that you were mine and mine only, the upside is that Im another year nearer to being back with you.( together forever) there are so many more words in my head I would love to say and tell you, another time wnen things might change.will talk soon, wait for me please. My everlasting love my darling, Your boy. Alan ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡