My darling darling Heather, June 9th will always be the saddest, most devastating day of my life, the day you left me, six years now, it could be six seconds it's all so heart breakingly real ,I look out of our bedroom stable door that is open at another glorious day and think about all the things we would have done today and how difficult its is at missing out on these,I have been asked recently by those with the same experience if life gets better , it doesn't and never ever will, it just gets different, they too now understand where others never will until it's to late, l said once in a wedding speech your were my wife, my lover, my best friend and my soulmate, your still are, these qualities can never be replaced. Heather, the loneliness, tears and pain never go away, I thank God every day you were mine, your never leave my thoughts, another day nearer to being back together. My everlasting love my darling. Your boy, Alan xxx